I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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