You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize