I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
