man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.