So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
being pregnant is like rehab
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.