You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.