WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?