if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
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We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
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I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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