i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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