I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
