Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
