It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
