so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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