I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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