he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
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im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
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This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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