how do flat chested girls get laid?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
