life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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