I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
