Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?