So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.