And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine