And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
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I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
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At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
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