The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my phone needs a breathalizer
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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