Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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