yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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