I'm really into asian looking animals
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
