i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
