I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
