sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
