i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
