are you still at the devil's house?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I forget how to act sober
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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