You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
handjob tips. give me some.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
