you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
