I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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