trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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