For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Randomize
