I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
not ubering you a puppy
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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