I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
