What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He had one of those small greek statue penises
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Randomize
