I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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