but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
