how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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