Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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