I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
farters have to be the big spoon...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
