how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
