are you still at the devil's house?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
