In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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