im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
