Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
