so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
