just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
me + whiskey = a bad person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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