Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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