Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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