Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
