Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
