halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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