onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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