thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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