Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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