Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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