dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
