he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I skipped work to stalk him.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize