i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
