so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
