I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
