I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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