i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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