This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We need to get me chipped asap
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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