I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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