is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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