Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
