meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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