I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize