how can u be prego again
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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