Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
